I threw out my Bibles. o_O;;
I AM the BEST CHRISTIAN IN THE WORLD!!!!!
*slams head on the desk*
Monday, February 25, 2008
Well..../Open Letter to god
So this is my new blog, and it is for My Views on God, religion, and our lord in general. My struggles, my ups, my downs..and everything in between.
Where do I begin? Well
First of all to god...
Where did you go? Where did I go? where am I yet to go, and why do I get so angry at you? So many unawnsered questions that just leaves a taste of Ash in my mouth. I dont want to keep falling, which im sure you're aware of...But I dont know how to change either.
somthing sticks out in my mind so..vividly. I remember a couple of years ago when I still felt comfortable to go to church, me and a few others took a Trip to be baptizied. I remember a Friend Alicia getting baptizied, and coming up from that water reborn, with so much strength to let go of all she was, she emerged Bathed in the holy blood and was deemed worthy. I remember also..You speaking to my heart 'Ricky...My child, do not be frightented...take this great chance' and yet I couldnt bring myself to get into the water, allow a church elder to put me under and re-emerge someone...still the same, yet different. what would that mean? who would I be? there's simply too many Questions...and not enough awnsers.
There is a place I dream of at Night Father. Under the fading trees, where laughter and joy can be heard, where all of us Congregated to bask in your presence, Your light. I was happy then, at peace. It's been too long since I had any peace Lord. I was only known as a christian then..and only that. Im that no Longer.
Im a christian with a Problem...that most..dont understand, nor do they want too. two sides in a constant battle for my soul...The Christian, and The Homosexual.
I feel extremely Dirty for saying that sentance...but it's true. I want to be better. I want the church back, I want you back, no...I need you. Im just afraid..please, ease my mind. there have been a few of my brothers and sisters Who have passed Judgment On Me Lord..and im afraid of returning will cause major conflict.
We'll see if I have the courage to return to conneticut..to return to the church.
~I can't live this life,
Without you by my side,
I need you to survive,
So stay with me,
You look in my eyes and im screaming inside,
That im Sorry.
Can You Forgive Me Again?
You're my one true Friend,
And I never meant to hurt you'
~Evanescence-"Forgive Me"
Where do I begin? Well
First of all to god...
Where did you go? Where did I go? where am I yet to go, and why do I get so angry at you? So many unawnsered questions that just leaves a taste of Ash in my mouth. I dont want to keep falling, which im sure you're aware of...But I dont know how to change either.
somthing sticks out in my mind so..vividly. I remember a couple of years ago when I still felt comfortable to go to church, me and a few others took a Trip to be baptizied. I remember a Friend Alicia getting baptizied, and coming up from that water reborn, with so much strength to let go of all she was, she emerged Bathed in the holy blood and was deemed worthy. I remember also..You speaking to my heart 'Ricky...My child, do not be frightented...take this great chance' and yet I couldnt bring myself to get into the water, allow a church elder to put me under and re-emerge someone...still the same, yet different. what would that mean? who would I be? there's simply too many Questions...and not enough awnsers.
There is a place I dream of at Night Father. Under the fading trees, where laughter and joy can be heard, where all of us Congregated to bask in your presence, Your light. I was happy then, at peace. It's been too long since I had any peace Lord. I was only known as a christian then..and only that. Im that no Longer.
Im a christian with a Problem...that most..dont understand, nor do they want too. two sides in a constant battle for my soul...The Christian, and The Homosexual.
I feel extremely Dirty for saying that sentance...but it's true. I want to be better. I want the church back, I want you back, no...I need you. Im just afraid..please, ease my mind. there have been a few of my brothers and sisters Who have passed Judgment On Me Lord..and im afraid of returning will cause major conflict.
We'll see if I have the courage to return to conneticut..to return to the church.
~I can't live this life,
Without you by my side,
I need you to survive,
So stay with me,
You look in my eyes and im screaming inside,
That im Sorry.
Can You Forgive Me Again?
You're my one true Friend,
And I never meant to hurt you'
~Evanescence-"Forgive Me"
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